Break The Silence! Stop Child Sexual Abuse Now!

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE –  STOP NOW!

We parents worry about how to protect our kids from the world that many times looks so dangerous.

We teach our kids so much, don’t we?

How to use scissors carefully, riding on a bicycle with helmet (~strictly~), we also talk to them about fire safety, traffic rules, rules about crossing the road like “Stop-Look-Listen-Cross”, etc.  Because, we are their protectors, aren’t we?

So why educating children about their body safety is avoided by parents? 

Why can’t we start educating them at early age?

Are we not well equipped with the knowledge about this subject?

Don’t we care about our kids?

Are we waiting for the day, when our child become a victim of sexual abuse by perpetrator – who can be our close relative, our family friend, neighbor, babysitter, watchman, peon or any other psychopath?

It’s our responsibility to give them the information they need to stay safe and understand what type of touches are considered as RESPECTFUL.

What’s the big deal to let our kids know what kinds of touches are SAFE and what are UNSAFE, and such things should never be kept secret? 

MYTHS

  1. We always feel we should not rob our child’s innocence and purity as they are too small to know so much.
  2. They won’t understand anything or this topic will be too scary for them and we do not discuss about their private body parts early enough.
  3. Parents think, their child has a good family and friend circle, very good neighbors with good social status, playmates, classmates, siblings, cousins, uncles, coaches, teachers, babysitters. But these wrongdoers look just like us! Like you and me! And that is the scariest part.

It’s about child safety. It’s a part of education that every child deserve. It is to empower them and boost their self-esteem, so that they can identify the dangerous situations and disclose the abuser quickly.

Ultimately, if parents break the silence, a child will be able to talk to his/her parents about anything, especially about their bodies in a respectful way, for which they may feel shameful, blameworthy or guilty.

FACTS 

  1. Sexual abuse is a risk for every child. If you think only girls are sexually assaulted. No!You are wrong!!
  2. Researchers say that, 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys are exploited, assaulted at very young age and 75% out of them don’t tell.
  3. Children who are sexually abused 20% are abused before the age of 8.
  4. 90% of child sexual abuse victims know their abuser, someone they know, and often trust.
  5. It can take the form of sexual abuse, harassment, rape or sexual exploitation in prostitution or pornography.
  6. It can happen in homes, institutions, schools, within communities, neighborhood or anywhere else.
  7. Increasingly, the internet and mobile phones also put children at risk of sexual violence.
  8. Young children who are targeted due to their innocence and ignorance about this topic.

How can educated parents like us don’t do anything about our child’s body safety?

Make your kids ready to tackle with the worst situation, The only way to teach them to protect themselves is to educate and empower them.

Small changes can add up to huge results. your child should not deal with shame, unhappiness, loss of belief in helping themselves, demoralization, depression, confusion, fear, stigma, psychological distress, lack of trust at any point of time.

Before your child break the silence, you need to break the silence!  It’s never to early or too late. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Talk to your children. It Doesn’t have to be scary conversation.

So, how do we discuss about such uncomfortable subject with our tiny innocent kids?

Remember following points when you talk to your child about Body safety

1. Start Early and just keep using them as part of your vocabulary – during bath time, diaper changes etc. Keep it very casual. Always let them know about ‘SAFE’ and ‘UNSAFE’ TOUCH. Never use terms like – GOOD/BAD TOUCH (BAD word may confuse your child, if he/she is guilty in doing something, ethically). You can introduce such terminologies to kids through Body Safety books too.

2. Talk about body parts early, don’t teach them wrong names for body parts but use age appropriate names. So that,they can explain any scenario clearly.

3. Teach them about private body parts which are covered under swim suit. These body parts are absolutely private and no one can touch them except their parents while cleaning them. Only doctors can check them in presence of mom or dad.

4. No one should ask your kids to touch their private body parts. (This part we generally forget to inform our kids).

5. No one should take pictures of their private body parts or show them pictures of private parts.

6. Tell your kids that keeping BODY SECRET is not ok! Let your children know that they should always tell you if someone makes them keep a BODY SECRET! There is a difference between surprises and secrets!  Even if the perpetrator tries to bribe a child or threatens a child, ask your child to inform you. Tell them, You are always there to help your children.

7. Teach your child how to get out of uncomfortable and scary situations. Yes, children can yell, kick, allowed to make a scene and run away and tell any trusted person around them (mom/dad/grandparents or any other trusted teacher or closed one)about the same.

Sexual violence against children is a gross violation of children’s rights.

Revisit the body safety talks with your child more often. Children learn through repetitive talk.

Educate  and Empower your child now!

www.unicef.org

Please share this article with those you love and care. Spread the message of body safety!

 

Technical References : https://www.unicef.org, http://www.safersociety.org

 

27 Comments Add yours

  1. Delia says:

    Such great tips! Such a hard topic that definitely needs to be talked about! Thank you so much for sharing!

    1. mom says:

      True, Such a hard topic but it’s high time now! We parents need to help our little ones.

  2. Jiya B says:

    VEry much needed current phase tehre are many incidents come accorss everyday. Thanks for sharing the infomation is highly baluable.

    1. mom says:

      I recently read about an incident from Pune school – “9th grade boy raped 4yrs. Old girl”. That really made me think a lot on this sensitive topic. As we all are well educated and sensible parents, we are supposed to help our kids on this topic!

  3. Afsha Galar says:

    Inducting a child over this is so important especially with all the chaos that is surrounding us very important

  4. I also agree that this topic should be discussed with our growing kids for their safety. Kids should know the meaning of sexual abuse and related things about it. We should Frank with them on this topic so that they never hide from their parents if anything happened with them .

  5. Deepali says:

    Very important topic to talk about. We as a parent should teach our child about the sexual abuse. I don’t understand why people avoid talking about such an important issue. Awesome article 👍

  6. This is one of the best post I have read in a while now. I very strongly advocate the need to start talking to kids about abuse early on in life. This can save them from a lot of trauma otherwise! Thanks for writing this.

  7. Vidhi duggal says:

    Yes, you are right. It’s never too early or too late. We must teach our children and empower them on their safety.

  8. Alpana Deo says:

    What should I say? It was and awesome read. You have done a wonderful job in bringing out the essence of this topic. We need to teach our kids before circumstances teach them….
    Once again a wonderful read!!

    http://mothersgurukul.com/friends-help-each-other-yes-they-do/

  9. I agree with everything stated! And it hurts that most of the time, the victim knows the abusers – also one of the reasons why the victim never tells.

    To add to #7, we may teach our children a safe word to signal to parents that they are feeling uncomfortable.

  10. Sanjivini says:

    A really relevant post in today’s times. Thank you for this

  11. A much needed post. I think it’s Hugh time we took this up as a basic. As basic as teaching ABC to the kids.

  12. A very strong topic and strongly written by you … So true we often forget to tell kids that they should also not touch others private part .. Not naming the private parts with secret names is the best way to teach them about good and bad

  13. VIdehi says:

    Yes true these wrong doers look same like us. We need to teach our kids what they need to do when they are exploited.

    Thankyou for sharing the tips.

  14. manveen says:

    I absolutely stand in support of everything that you mentioned here. My son was (almost) abused on his school bus by a fellow 5 year old. The other child in question perhaps didn’t realize that implication of what he was doing. I am only grateful that my son (then 5) came and talked to my husband about it. It seems my husband had been talking about bad touch and good touch to him and I was just not aware of it. We were ofcourse able to get to the bottom of it with the support of the school and counsel the other child as well.
    There never it a good time to begin talking to our kids about these things. You never know what’s lurking around the corner.

  15. Anchal says:

    Sad facts but reality of the present world. Thank you for sharing your insights.

  16. It’s sad that most of the abusers are people whom the victim knows – maybe one of the reasons why the child is afraid to tell.

    To add to #7, we could teach our child a safe word to say if ever they feel threatened or uncomfortable. Sometimes, the child is too scared to have a fit because they will be scared that the abuser might understand she’s trying to escape the situation.

  17. I feel this is one of the most ignored topic when it comes to talking to our kids openly. Parents keep the channel open but somehow forget how to bring their kids towards that channel without feeling guilty. This is such an important post, thanks for writing this.

  18. NEHA JAIN says:

    This is a great post on child sexual abuse. I especially liked the tips that you have shared to educate and protect the child from physical abuse. Thanks for writing this.

  19. This is such an important topic and it’s sad that it is still considered taboo to talk about it openly. Good to see you are taking the initiative to spread awareness

  20. Charu Gujjal says:

    Thank You so much for this post. So well needed in current times. I am sharing this ahead so that more moms know how to deal with sensitive topics like these.

  21. Given the latest cases that have happened, it is even more important to start teaching your child and schools need to take on this responsibility too. It has to be a community and societal effort to educate our kids. Karma’s day care started teaching her stranger danger at 18 months old and now we are moving to good touch, bad touch. We also don’t force her to hug or shake hands with anyone she doesn’t want to including family. However, I still feel unless measures and awareness are done at a mass level, it’s not enough. Everyone needs to read the facts you have stated so the reality sets in.

  22. Nayantara says:

    The news out there is so scary. In light of those horrible incidents we nees to prepare our kids and teach them to be cautious and be open to us.

  23. Deepa says:

    Yes its very important to stop sexual abuse and the first step is to talk to your kids and teach them about it. Very good tips and a very useful information.

  24. Kavita Singh says:

    This is a topic which should be talk and taught more often. I am saving this post and sharing it with others too. We can not keep our kids under our supervision always, it is about time they know about the world outside and be prepared for it.

  25. Jinal Gada says:

    This is much needed. We need to also teach our boys to be respectful and teach them to repsect girls

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